by Monica
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Avea mereu nevoie de iubire, de oameni, doar ca să aibă de cine să fugă și de cine să-i fie frică
Cine zice că o cunoaște și știe cum reacționeză, înseamnă că nu a cunoscut-o niciodată. Nu aveai cum să o cunoști, era mereu altfel. Parcă nimic nu era cum trebuie, era mereu cu susul în jos. Era vulnerabilă și copilăroasă uneori… Alteori prea matură, doar pentru a se schimba în următoarele minute, devenind o copilă dornică de grijă și iubire.
Era atât de imprevizibilă, atât de fragilă, cu ea părea totul ireal. Nu am cuvinte să descriu ce simțeam, pot spune doar că m-a marcat. Acum era veselă și îți însenina ziua, ca mai apoi să fie prinsă pe linia de graniță dintre nebunie și dezastru. Nu înțelegeai nimic din ce simte, nu aveai cum să îi înțelegi gândirea. Era prea bine ascunsă sub un morman de zâmbete îndrăznețe și suave.
Ea, sufletul ei se aseamănă cu oceanul: frumos, sălbatic, calm, dar în același timp, rece, imprevizibil, plin de furtuni…
La ea, totul era contradictoriu. Azi te lua în brațe și îți zicea că te iubește, ca mâine să te respingă și să uite că exiști. Era ciudată… Vedea lumea alb-negru, bun sau rău, perfect sau greșit… Se schimba de la o persoană la alta, păstrându-și felul de a fi și personalitatea. Îmi era greu să o înțeleg când era fericită și imposibil când era tristă. Argumentele ei erau mereu în paralel, nu știa nici ea ce vrea și ce simte.
Avea mereu nevoie de iubire, de oameni, doar ca să aibă de cine să fugă și de cine să-i fie frică. Se mințea mereu că îi iubește pe toți, doar pentru a nu-i pierde. Era instabilă. Puteai să vorbești orice cu ea, să afli orice de la ea, dar niciodată de ce plânge, de ce suferă… Părea atât de deschisă, dar era mai închisă decât un cufăr cu lacăt… Pe cât era de calmă, pe atât de repede se enerva.
Vrea mereu să fie în centrul atenției, dar numai dacă nu o poate vedea nimeni
Ea, sufletul ei se aseamănă cu oceanul: frumos, sălbatic, calm, dar în același timp, rece, imprevizibil, plin de furtuni… Uneori era atât de pierdută în lumea ei, încât nu o puteai scoate de acolo, iar eu nu am înțeles cum e lumea ei, cum trăiește acolo dacă îmi spune că o urăște și că vrea să fugă. Nu pot realiza dacă a acceptat realitatea sau nu. Îmi spune că da, îmi arată că da azi, iar mâine îmi dovedește contrariul.
Pare femeia perfectă, blândă, iubitoare, grijulie… Dar ține în ea tot ce o deranjează, tot ce o rănește pentru că îi e frică să spună. Crede că orice greșeală o va costa singurătate. Vrea mereu să fie în centrul atenției, dar numai dacă nu o poate vedea nimeni.
E reală, e un suflet bun, dar rău și un suflet rău, dar bun. E ea, o calitate formată din defecte. Un om atât de ușor de iubit, încât pare imposibil.
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She always needed love, and people, only to have of whom to flee and of whom to be afraid
Who says that she/he knows her and knows how she reacts, it means that he/she never known her. There was no way to know her, she was always different. For her, nothing was how it has to be, she was always upside down. She was vulnerable and childlike sometimes… Sometimes too mature, only to change the mood in the next few minutes, becoming again a child eager for love and attention.
She was so unpredictable, so fragile, with her everything seemed unreal. I have no words to describe what I felt, I can only say that she impressed me very much. Now she was cheerful and she brightens your day, and later to be caught on the boundary line between madness and disaster. You could not understand anything from what she feels, you could not understand her thinking. It was too well hidden under a pile of bold and gentle smiles.
She, her soul, is like the ocean: beautiful, wild, calm, yet cold, unpredictable, full of storms…
To her, everything was contradictory. One day she could take you in her arms, telling you that she loves you, yet the next day she would reject you and forgets that you exist. She was strange… She was seeing the world in black and white, good or bad, perfect or wrong… She had many faces, keeping her way of being and personality. It was difficult for me to understand her when she was happy and impossible when she was sad. Her arguments were always like two parallel lines, she did not know what she wants and what she feels.
She always needed love, and people, only to have of whom to flee and of whom to be afraid. She always lied herself that she loves everyone, only because she didn’t want to lose them. She was unstable. You could talk about anything with her, to learn anything from her, but never why she cries, why she suffers… She seemed so open, but she was much mysterious than a chest with a padlock… She was very calm, but the storm could start anytime.
She wants always to be in the spotlight, but only if nobody can see her
She, her soul, is like the ocean: beautiful, wild, calm, yet cold, unpredictable, full of storms… Sometimes she was so lost in her world that you couldn’t get her out. And I didn’t understand how her world is, how she lives there if she tells me that she hates it and she wants to flee away. I cannot realize if she accepted reality or not. She says yes, she proves to me that today the answer is yes, and tomorrow everything is opposite.
She seems the perfect woman, gentle, loving, thoughtful… But she keeps inside of her everything that bothers her, everything that hurts her because she’s afraid to say. She believes that any mistake brings loneliness. She wants always to be in the spotlight, but only if nobody can see her.
She’s real, she’s a good soul, but bad and an evil soul, but good. She is herself, a quality made of defects. A person so easy to love, that seems impossible.
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Wow! I absolutely love this very fluent, poignantly descriptive prose focusing on the mysterious woman, like the ocean, and full of contradictions… I believe you have inspired me to write! Thank you!
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P. S. Did you receive my email? Just wondering! 🙂
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No. What email, Jonathan? Can you send it again, please 🙂
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Oh! You did get it… It was the e-mail with my poem (triple haiku) for this weekend! And, again, thank you so much for allowing me to join the ride again! All the best to you w/blessings! 🙂
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Aha… OK. I forgot to answer you, then. Sorry for that, Jonathan.
Anyway, it is a beautiful collaboration and I would be happy to see it many years from now.
Have a beautiful evening, Jonathan!
xo ❤
PS – Wait for you with another beautiful guest post :))
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Ah! Thank you so much for your ever-gracious words … and, yes, next weekend, too! I’ll be glad to take the ride again! LOL 🙂 🙂 🙂
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As I already said, the honor is all mine, Jonathan. I wait for your beautiful guest post 🙂
Have a great week!
Hugs,
Monica ❤
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This is very good!
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Thank you, Jeff 🙂
Coming from you makes me feel so happy 🙂
xo ❤
PS – Wait for you with another beautiful guest post :))
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Your so welcomed. I enjoy doing the guest post and I’m glad you like them. Yes, I will most certainly have another post for you next week. Thx. Jeff
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❤
I am so glad to hear that, Jeff 🙂
I saw that you have had some nice comments on your last guest post and I am very happy 🙂
Have an awesome week, Jeff!
Waiting for your beautiful guest post.
Hugs,
Monica
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Cred că am văzut-o și eu de atâtea ori. Știu că-i imposibil s-o înțeleg, dar poate că-i mai bine așa. Ba chiar îmi place să fiu surprins mereu. 🙂
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Cred ca toti adoram sa fim surprinsi placut 🙂 Ce be facem cand nu este pacut?
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Ne consolăm. 😉
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Mai mult ca sigur 🙂
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thank u Mopana ..this is the innate characteristic of the human mind….a kind of contradiction or paradox…it is perfectly normal
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Thank you very much for your words, my friend 🙂
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🙂most welcome..my dear talented girl
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❤
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Honey, you leave me speechless. Your words are absolutely perfect!!! ❤
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Now… you leave me speechless, my Amy 🙂
Hugs and kisses ❤
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This is so insightful, Monica
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Thank you so much, Derrick. ❤
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Sincer,ai făcut exact descrierea mea😒
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Nu stiu daca sa ma bucur sau nu…
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Mda..nici eu 😞
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😦
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Totuși parcă ai ghicit cum am devenit si ma bucur ca există cineva care a putut să descrie așa de bine cum ma simt!❤
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Mai am si alte posturi despre emotii pe blog. Poate ca s-a legat cu ele. Imi place psihologia si scriu mult despre asta.
Iti doresc din inima sa fii bine si sa te bucuri de viata ❤
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Oare nu trecem pe acolo fiecare dintre noi? Daca nu, înseamnă ca eu sunt speciala?
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Cred ca ai dreptate 🙂
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