Cartea care îmi găzduia amintirile – The book that housed my memories


monicaWritten

by Monica

JUMP TO ENGLISH VERSION

     La un moment dat am rămas fixată într-un punct. Parcă priveam dincolo de zidul care îmi era dat să-l văd. Îmi construiam o lume iluzorie, unde un întreg tărâm lua naștere la fiecare clipă. Timpul trecea foarte repede, nici nu puteam să realizez că a trecut o oră, ca să observ că a trecut ziua.

mopana-the-book-that-housed-my-memories      Mă uitam pierdută spre cartea care îmi găzduia amintirile. Nu înțelegeam de ce mă atrage. Eram prea obosită să mă gândesc și am început să o răsfoiesc. Zeci de pagini umplute cu nimicuri copilărești care, acum, mă apasă. Ce frumos era pe atunci… simțeam magia. Singura lume în care trăiam era un basm nesfârșit, plin de bucurie și entuziasm. Nu vedeam (ca acum) numai o nebuloasă întunecată, care părea că se apropie de mine la fiecare ceas și care mă absoarbe într-un univers efemer din care acum mă simt dată afară.

     Priveam aievea cum timpul trecea peste paginile scrise de un copil, apoi, pentru un moment, am privit spre fereastră. Simțeam alte emoții întortocheate și priveam în gol spre felinarul din față. Ma simțeam paralelă și străină, dar furtuna de afară îmi părea familiară. Era o frumusețe aparte în vântul care zbura fulgii de zăpadă. Era magic și fără nicio îndoială iarna și-a făcut simțită prezența.

     Nu îmi puteam închipui că trăiesc de azi pe mâine într-o lume care moare… îmi era greu să accept frigul. Deși era tot ce aveam atunci. M-am întors spre caiet, l-am privit lung și l-am închis. Am închis fereastra și m-am culcat.

ENGLISH VERSION

The book that housed my memories

      At one point I remained fixed in a point. It seemed that I was looking beyond the wall that I was given to see. I was building an illusory world, where an entire realm was seeing the sun at any moment. Time passed quickly. I could not even realize that an hour has passed, to notice that the day has passed.

mopana-the-book-that-housed-my-memories     I looked at the book that housed my memories. I did not understand why it attracts me. I was too tired to think and I began to leaf through it. Dozens of pages filled with childish trifles that now oppresses me. How nice was then… there were times when I felt the magic. The only world in which I lived was a tale without an end, full of joy and enthusiasm. I did not see (like now) only a dark nebula, which seemed to approach me at every hour and which absorbs me in an ephemeral universe from where now I feel shut out.

     I watched how the time went over the pages written by a child, then, for a moment, I looked at the window. I felt other twisted emotions and I stared blankly at the front lantern. I felt parallel and strange, but the storm outside looked familiar to me. It was an apart beauty in the wind that scatters the snowflakes. It was magical and, undoubtedly, the winter has made its presence felt.

    I could not imagine that I live in a world that is dying… It was difficult to accept the cold. Although it was all I had then. I turned to the notebook, I looked long at it and I closed it. I closed the window and I went to bed.

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31 thoughts on “Cartea care îmi găzduia amintirile – The book that housed my memories

  1. Excellent, Monica… Very engaging, indeed! This sounds like an excerpt from some chapter in a book you are writing. The depth of feeling in your description is amazing … so very good! I wanted to keep on reading more. And the photo looks like the cover of a book, and goes so perfectly with what you wrote! Wow!

    Liked by 1 person

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