by Monica
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Unii oameni nu-ți vor vedea lacrimile, iar alții ți le vor forma. Tu… ești ca un copac, plin de frunze, iar când “frigul” intră în viața ta, ceilalți “cad” ca frunzele, îi pierzi. Pe unii la o adiere blândă, pe alții în timpul unei furtuni covârșitoare… Cert este că rămâi singur, doar un trunchi. Un simplu corp gol, rămas fără frunze, un corp care așteaptă și un suflet care plânge și simte durerea fiecărei pierderi.
Ajungi într-un punct în care îți dorești să fii tăiat, să dispari, pentru că lupta ta cu tine e prea grea pentru a o duce singur. În jurul tău e un câmp de luptă, iar tu ești împotriva ta, te rănești cu vise pierdute și dorințe ireale.
De ce s-ar întoarce toți cei pe care îi iubești? De ce au plecat? Când au facut-o? Au vrut să o facă sau i-ai împins tu? Cine e de vină? Nu vei știi niciodată ce s-a întamplat, cine și de ce a fost slab și s-a lăsat smuls de furtună.
Eu acum stau… privesc un copac și mă gândesc la cei care au plecat. Uneori nu pot accepta asta, alteori mă bucur.
Dar cel mai des mă hrănesc cu cioburi sparte. Apoi mă plimb printre corpuri reci, căutând căldura pe care am pierdut-o cu ani în urmă. Mă simt solitară, vulnerabilă, când amintirile îmi răvășesc mintea și-mi înjunghie sufletul cu lama pierderii.
Poate uneori lacrimile îmi sunt suficiente și mă ascund în spatele nervilor și furiei, dar atunci, nu mai știu ce simt, doar aștept, aștept primăvara și noi frunze, care probabil, la “iarnă” vor cădea…
Într-o lume atât de rece, mie îmi e frig. Aștept soarele, dar și el pare că s-a pierdut prin norii trecutului, pășind tiptil prin labirintul timpului.
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Some people will not see your tears, while others will create your tears. You… are like a tree full of leaves, and when the “cold” enters your life, the others “fall” as the leaves, you lose them. Some, to a gentle breeze, others during an overwhelming storm… What is certain is that you remain alone, only a trunk. A simple empty body, devoid of leaves, a body that waits and a soul that cries and feels the pain of each loss.
You reach a point where you want to be cut out, to disappear, because your fight with you is too heavy to do it alone. Around you is a battlefield, and you’re against you, you hurt yourself with lost dreams and unreal desires.
Why would turn all those you love? Why did they leave? When did they do it? They wanted to do it or did you pushed them? Who’s to blame? You’ll never know what happened, why and who it was weak and allowed to the storm to rip him.
Now… I look at a tree and I am thinking of those who left. Sometimes I can not accept that, but other times I’m glad.
But most often I feed myself on broken shards. Then I walk among icy bodies, seeking the warmth that I lost it years ago. I feel solitary, vulnerable, when memories destroy my mind and stab my soul with the blade of loss.
Perhaps my tears are enough and I hide me behind the nerves and anger, but then I don’t know what I feel, I just wait, I wait for spring and new leaves that perhaps in the “winter” will fall…
In a world so cold, it’s cold to me. I wait for the sun, but he apparently is lost in the clouds of the past, walking slowly through the labyrinth of time.
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Oh my! This is so very well written and yet so heartrending … so sad! Throughout my reading I kept waiting for the Spring of new life to break forth with love, joy and peace. Still, this is a wonderful article, very smoothly and seamlessly written. As always, all the best to you … the very best!
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As always, your words are beautiful, Jonathan 😀
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Beautiful and hoping for warm sun for you, my friend.
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I know that sun is always somewhere, behind the clouds. Thank you for your words, Chris 😀
Hugs ❤
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The sun came back today. Here. 🙂
It will come back to you at the least expected moment.
Bon Dimanche
(Buona Domenica en Italiano…)
How is it it Romanian?
😉
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I know that the sun is always somewhere, behind the clouds, Brian
We do not use this saying. I mean, it is unusual here. But it sounds like that: O Duminica Buna!
By the way, have you seen my ebook? Could you be so kind to write a review on my sales page?
Hugs ❤
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Dominica buna is easy to understand. I haven’t seen your e-book yet. Sort of running around withe the house move and catch-up. One favour: can you send me the link in my mail? This way it serves as a reminder?
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OKI doki 🙂 You’ll have it on email.
It is Duminica not Dominica 😀
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dUminica! dUly noted. (A half diphtong or a weakening of the O)
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Come to think of it, in italian, it is dOmenica, dOmingo in spanish, but dImanche in French. I always find it fascinating how words evolve from one place to the other… 🙂
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What about English? Sunday… In Romanian means Ziua (day) Soarelui (sun). I mean the day of the sun 🙂
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Ziua sounds like a strange origin. There is some russian influence, “da”? Now Soarelui (like the sound) sounds a bit like Soleil. Sunday in english is probably more like the German Sonntag. Maybe you can do a Haiku with Soarelui ziua? 😉
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Da, it can be a russian influence, altough they say that we are related with the Romans 🙂
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Your language is definitely a roman language, like French or Italian, or spanish or portuguese. But being so close to Russia there probably have been Slavic “imports”. Da is most certainly one. 🙂
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My mother’s father is an import :))
He knows Russian language very well. He used to live in Chisinau (Moldova) for 11 years. After the WWII.
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Your grandfather, then? 🙂
Do you speak a little Russian?
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No more than some words
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The sun will always come out again dear Monica. Even if it’s hidden for awhile it will show its face again. 😌 Such a beautifully written piece, full of emotion. Take care and sending you hugs xo
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I know, my dear Miriam. Thank you for your support and for your warm words.
By the way, have you seen my ebook? I know I ask too much, but… Could you be so kind to write a review on my sales page?
Hugs back and a lot of kisses ❤
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Of course I can. Life has been crazy this past fortnight but I’ll try to get to it as soon as I can. Hugs and warmest wishes to you Monica
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Hugs back and a lot of kisses, Miriam ❤
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I’ve written my review tonight dear Monica. xo 🙂
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I just saw it, Miriam. Thank you so much for your beautiful words. Could I ask you to get back on lulu and to rate my eBook, too? If you have time, of course. I know I am a bad girl. Sorry for this 🙂
I wish you an awesome weekend, dear Miriam ❤
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Of course, I’m sorry Monica, it was late when I wrote it. Life has been crazy busy but I’ll get back there when I can, soon I promise. ❤️ have a lovely weekend too.
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Many thanks, dear Miriam 🙂
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Sad. True. Real. I loved the feel of it as it draped the windows of my soul. Lord Bless, Keep, Shine upon you Monica. . .
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Many thanks, my friend. I am so glad you liked it 🙂
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Miriam is right, Monica! No matter how cloudy it is, the sun will always come out again. This is a powerful and emotional post 🙂
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I know you and Miriam are right. And I know that the sun is always behind the clouds and he will show his face again. This post was written in a day full of melancholy.
Thank you for your words, Josh ❤
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Thank you for your response! We all have our melancholic days, and writing about them can be a good way to cope with them 🙂
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You are very right, Josh 🙂
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Poate soarele acum rasare si va licari in cioburile sparte.. cine stie
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Esti o draguta ca intotdeauna. Eram intr-o stare mai proasta cand am scris articolul. Dar mi-am revenit 🙂
Sper ca voi sunteti bine 😀
Pup ❤
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Pingback: Ma hrănesc cu cioburi sparte – I feed myself on broken shards — look around! | Le Bien-Etre au bout des Doigts
Soarele e tot acolo. Noi ne-am ascuns de el.
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Foarte adevarat, Petru. El e mereu acolo, chiar daca uneori e umbrit de nori 🙂
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I know how you feel, the winter has a way of making it worse for we are creatures of the sun, we crave the warmth. But I have learned that even in the darkest night, there is always a light for it wouldn’t be dark if there wasn’t light. Everything needs its opposite and then we heal… JC
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Yeah, I know, we have the hope. But you know, until the sun is rising again it’s still dark and cold.
Have a great week, Jeff!
I wait for you with another beautiful guest post!
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I’ll have it to you by Wednesday.
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Ok, great 🙂
Thank you very much, Jeff.
I wish you an extraordinary week.
xo ❤
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There are times when it seems as if the sun will never return. But it does, and it sometimes is accompanied by a rainbow. I wish that you find the biggest rainbows in your journey, Monica. ❤
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Yes, I know, Rob, life has ups and downs. Clouds and rainbows. We need to try to do not let us overwhelmed. Right?
By the way, have you saw my Haiku ebook? Do you like how it looks? Can I ask you to write a review for me on my sales page? Thank you for your support 😀
Have a great weekend, my friend ❤
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Beautiful!
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Aww… Many thanks 🙂
Glad you liked it. 😀
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This prompts me to send you this link, Monica: https://derrickjknight.com/2014/02/21/beckys-book/ The writing helped me through my darkest days
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Beautiful post, Derrick. I just read it 🙂
Hugs ❤
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Your work is just stunning. Really, really, REALLY amazing. 🙂
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Aww… Many, many thanks. Glad you like it 🙂
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