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Iartă-mă, inimă, pentru toate momentele în care nu mai voiam să mai bați
Draga mea care-mi bați zilnic în piept, știu că te-am frânt. Știu că ți-am facut răni adânci, pe care încă te chinui să le închizi. Știu că mereu îți redeschid cicatricile, pe care după atât amar de vreme ai reușit să le vindeci. Știu că te-am lăsat stingheră în întunericul pustiu al minții. Știu că te-am acoperit cu un strat de gheață și că te-am izolat într-un palat de piatră. Știu că ți-am făcut rău, dar acum vreau să-ți cer iertare!
Iartă-mă, inimă! Iartă-mă pentru toate momentele în care nu mai voiam să mai bați. Iartă-mă pentru toate clipele în care stăteam izolată și țipam în pernă ca să nu mă audă nimeni. Iartă-mă pentru toate lacrimile vărsate pe podea și pentru toate traumele pe care ți le-am cauzat.
Mintea mi-e plină de umbre, în timp ce tu, inimă, ești pustie printre lumini
Îmi pare rau că mereu am ales o persoană greșită căreia să-i permit să te atingă. Indiferent de lacătele pe care le-am pus pe tine, tu ai reușit să te faci auzită, mereu ai vrut să simți, să învingi, dar din cauza mea ai câștigat suferință. Din cauza mea, tu nu mai ai nimic. Ma simt goală pe interior.
Imi pare rău dragul meu suflețel. Îmi pare rău pentru fiecare clipă în care ți-am permis să pătrunzi în lumea pe care vreau să o ascund de tine, în partea întunecată din mine. Îmi pare rău că ai căzut în mijlocul prăpastiei și că te-am lăsat să te îneci. Eu nu am fost în stare să-ți întind o mană de ajutor, nu am putut să te calmez în timp ce urlai de durere și plângeai atât de tare încât inima sângera.
Indiferent de lacătele pe care le-am pus pe tine inimă, tu ai reușit să te faci auzită
Am plătit cu sange toate greșelile. Am plătit prea scump pentru fuga mea de tine, suflețelul meu. Mi-am distrus inima, sufletul și corpul pentru pacea minții. O pace pe care nu o am. Am neglijat tot ce ținea de tine… Am fugit de sentimente, dar acum îmi pare rău. Mi-a fost frică!
Știu că mi-am greșit mult prea mult… Dar după atâta timp, realizez că toate rănile, crizele și urletele mele te-au întărit. Te-au facut un adevarat războinic. Off suflete… Mai poți? Mă mai suporți? Sincer… Eu nu știu cum mă mai suportă inima, că eu nu o mai suport. Au fost prea multe momente în care am vrut să o scot din piept și să țip la ea… Chiar dacă era greșeala minții.
Draga mea care-mi bați zilnic în piept, știu că te-am frânt
Dragă inimă, ai devenit imună. Dar mi-aș dori să te mai rog ceva: Iubește în continuare, nu mă lăsa singură! Tu poți, eu nu. Eu renunț, tu trebuie să continui. Mintea mi-e plină de umbre, în timp ce tu ești pustie printre lumini. Ca să termin
Ca să termin într-un trend pozitiv, vă invit la o plimbare printr-un “Lan galben” 🙂
Forgive me, heart, for all the moments when I wanted you to stop beating
Darling who beat daily in my chest, I know I broke you. I know I’ve made you deep wounds that you still try to close them. I know I always reopen scars which after so much time you managed to heal them. I know I left you lonely in the desolate darkness of the mind. I know I’ve covered you with a layer of ice and I’ve isolated you in a stone palace. I know I’ve hurt you, but now I want to apologize!
Forgive me, heart! Forgive me for all the moments when I wanted you to stop beating! Forgive me for all the moments when I stood isolated and I screamed into the pillow because I didn’t want to be heard by anyone. Forgive me for all the tears spilled on the floor and all the traumas which I have caused to you.
My mind is full of shadows, while you, heart, you are desolated among lights
I am sorry I’ve always chosen a wrong person whom I allow to touch you. Regardless of locks that I have put on you, you managed to get yourself heard, you’ve always wanted to feel, to win, but because of me, you get only suffering. Because of me, you’ve got nothing. I feel empty inside.
I’m sorry my dear little soul. I’m sorry for every moment that I have allowed you to enter into the world that I want to hide from you, the dark side of me. I’m sorry you fell in the middle of the abyss and I left you to drown. I wasn’t able to give you any help, I couldn’t calm you down while you were screaming in pain and crying so hard that heart was bleeding.
Regardless of locks that I have put on you, you managed to get yourself heard
I paid with blood all my mistakes. I‘ve paid too expensive my run away from you, my little soul. I destroyed my heart, body and soul for the peace of mind. A peace that I have not. I neglected everything about you… I ran away from feelings, but now I’m sorry. I was afraid!
I know that I’ve made too many mistakes regarding me… But after all this time, I realize that all wounds, crises and my screams have strengthened you. They have made you a real warrior. Oh, my soul… Can you still resist? Can you tolerate me anymore? Honestly… I don’t know how my heart still tolerates me because I can’t tolerate her anymore. There were too many moments when I wanted to get her out of my chest and yelling at her… Even though it was the mistake of the mind.
Darling who beat daily in my chest, I know I broke you
Dear heart, you became immune. But I would like to ask you something: please love again, do not leave me alone! You can, I do not. I give up, you have to keep going. My mind is full of shadows, while you, heart, you are desolated among lights.
To finish in a positive trend, I invite you to walk through a “Yellow Land“. 🙂
Very poignant and even poetically mournful. Very well-done!
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As I already told you, you’re too kind. Many thanks 🙂
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oh nein
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😀
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🙂
Imagine I’m your heart, and I’ll say
Whatever you do to me, don’t be sorry
For I’m only exist for you within you
My job is to pump in courage, power, energy…
Anything you need for you to live your life as you choose
I’m only pleased to do what I must do
You are climbing up to the summit
You’ll stumble over a rock on your way
It hurts your toes unbearable, I know
You’ll have a raw scratch on your arm bleeding
Share whatever the pain and ache with me
Let’s bear them together and walk on together
When you are down and almost give up
I’ll start pumping like crazy so you stand up again
I can do that because I’m fueled by love for you
Only what I ask of you
When you reach the summit
Breathe in cool air into me
With your arms high up
I will swell with such a tremendous joy
That you will feel together 🙂 ❤
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Aww… This is gorgeous, Ashi and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And I will post it next time when I will blog again. Probably next Sunday. I have a hard week with many tests and exams. So, till then, many kisses and hugs for you dear Grandpa ❤
xoxo
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I’m glad you liked it. Don’t worry about your posting it. In the meantime, I wish you a gook luck with your school tests. I think I know how you feel about your high school education. I suppose I felt the same way when I was your age. But today I’m so grateful I had the chance of meeting the friends and some of the faculty members whom I met and talked with then. xoxo 🙂
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Thank you very much, Ashi 🙂
See you soon!
xoxo
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🙂
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Interesting writing here, Monica…and very beautiful. The heart seems resiliant. It comes back stronger despite being broken so many times. It reminds me of the Ernest Hemingway quote that “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” Cheers!
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I think you’re right. The heart is resilient.
Very nice quote, Christopher 🙂
See you next Sunday! I have a hard week with many tests and exams. Wish me luck!
Hugs ❤
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Good luck. Hugs back!
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Many, many thanks, Christopher ❤
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this is such a beautiful picture i have seen… just amazing
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Many thanks ❤
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Va veni momentul in care va bate cu multa putere.. va iubi necondiționat si vei simti ca totul in viata are sens..
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Nu pot decat sa sper 🙂
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Citind cuvintele tale ma gandesc la mine la varsta ta. Eram la fel de visatoare si iubirea venea si pleca..credeam ca nu o sa mai reusesc sa am sentimente.. Totusi iubirea de dupa liceu a fost altfel.. nu stiu de ce.. si de atunci s-au schimbat atat de multe…
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Poate si pentru ca in liceu traim mai repede fiecare minut, fiecare secunda, asa cum spune tata. Poate ca dupa aceea ne mai asezam un pic, nu mai suntem mereu pe fuga 🙂
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Cred ca dupa aceea se mai linistesc hormonii :))
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Da, probabil 😀
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Heartfelt and intense Monica. Remember also that a heart can never fully be broken, it is resilient and continues to beat hard even when it feels it can’t go on. Beautiful writing my dear. xo
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I can only say thank you for your beautiful words and for your support, dear Miriam.
See you next Sunday! I have a very hard week in front of me with many tests and exams everyday. Wish me luck!
Hugs and kisses ❤
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Monica, I wish you all the luck in the world as you sit for your tests and exams. Do your best and I’m sure you’ll be absolutely fine. Hugs and kisses back to you my friend. xo
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Thank you so much, Miriam 🙂
See you soon! ❤
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Why aren’t you studying? 🙂 Just joking! Good luck Monica.
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The heart never gets totally broken, just cracked. And you know… “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in” 🙂 ❤
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Wow! Nice words. Thank you for your support ❤
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Heart, soul and their owner, a constant fight!
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You’re right, Ann. A constant fight, indeed.
See you next Sunday! I have a very hard week in front of me with many tests and exams every single day. Wish me luck!
Hugs and kisses<3
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Extremely well written 🙂
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Aww… Many thanks 🙂
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Very thoughtful, sad and touching xx
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Aww… Many thanks, Lynz
Hugs ❤
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I am sure!
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xoxo
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Xoxo
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Pingback: I’m only exist for you within you | look around!
Nice 😇👌👌
Please review mine..
Tried to write on how incomplete i am
http://wp.me/p7nwRE-44
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I think none is complete 🙂
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M-ai emoționat… 🙂
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Multumesc mult 🙂
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this is really ‘heart’ touching……
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Many thanks 🙂
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❤️
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❤
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This was a treat to read. Wow you are truly amazing
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I am just a teenage girl. You’re too kind 🙂
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Monica this is so touching and moving. ❤️
I could hear your screams. I could feel your humble words. A beautiful piece. ❤️😉
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When what you write is a part of you, I think it is possible that others could feel the intensity. Thank you again for your sweet words, Carisa ❤
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De ce așa trist?! 😞 😘 Capul sus și gândește-te mai mult la sufletul tău! E singurul care îți rămâne!
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Stiu, dar uneori trebuie sa suferim ca sa simtim frumusetea vietii. Se spune ca nu exista lumina fara intuneric.
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Asta asa e, dar doar de noi depinde unde punem limita.
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Corect 🙂
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